A Podcast to inspire and motivate women in midlife! Let's Calm the Chaos in our lives so we can go after our purpose and passion!
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This week’s podcast guest is Ada Calhoun, author of the NY Times Best Seller Why We Can’t Sleep, Women’s New Midlife Crisis. This book dives into how Gen X women were raised to “have it all” and “do it all” and how that’s led to its own set of problems down the road as we’ve gotten older.
Even though Ada identifies the Gen X community in this book, it is geared toward women in middle age who are going through a lot and recognize that we all hit a period of time when we are trying to do too much as a generation of women and we feel overwhelmed
For Ada this season happened a couple of years ago during a summer season. Ada had some work issues, credit card debt, career concerns, and children going into different seasons at the time and it felt that everything was piling up. For evenings she would stare up at the ceiling until four in the morning thinking “where did I go wrong?” and “why is this so hard”?
It was right at this time that Oprah.com asked her to write an article about this generation of women which was not only liberating for Ada but became this book! While writing the book, she realized she was not crazy and there are a lot of women going through a very difficult time as well.
In the book, Ada looks at all the reasons why the title is true. Women have anxiety about their careers, company loyalty, benefits, and staying relevant. In another chapter, the conversation is around divorce and how 40% of women have divorced parents which may come with emotional baggage. The topic surrounding money is shared and how the cost of living is so much higher now and the wages are just not keeping up accordingly.
Many Gen X women were told that they could do anything so then they began to think that they should do it all and do it perfectly. This led to a lot of perfectionism and a sense of failure if they didn’t excel at one thing or everything! This has led to a lot of shame and anxiety which is shared throughout the stories.
Women share how they need to look at all these things they have to accomplish and feel that they are doing it alone. Most women have felt that they were left to fend for themselves. This leads to not only a lot of anxiety but loneliness.
One of the chapters written that resonated with Ada is the perimenopause chapter. Women discussing the feelings that would come on suddenly. Sometimes sadness or anger would just surface at unexpected times. Ada shares how she became angry because, in all the years of going to the doctor and reading women’s magazines, no one had ever said the word “perimenopause”. And that’s why this chapter is lengthy as she talked to a lot of doctors and wanted to give women the information and the knowledge to know that there is something you can do about it!
The feedback that Ada has gotten from readers about the book is that they feel seen as they had been feeling invisible. And that hearing from the other women made them feel less alone.
To Calm the Chaos Ada loves to go on walks, cook, hang out with her kids, and gets a lot of enjoyment listening to Agatha Christie Audiobooks! Ada also gives a piece of advice to Gen X women: Be honest about what you are dealing with and with other people.
I recently had the opportunity to coordinate a call with Kaley Chu in Australia to discuss her journey in getting out of her comfort zone, writing her book 100 lunches, and launching her website for others to connect for lunch!
Kaley is an author, speaker, people connector, and Business Development Manager at Equi Wealth. In 2018 Kaley turned lunch into a life-changing experience. Not just one lunch, but 100 of them with total strangers over a year. After publishing a book based on her learnings, Kaley now shares her journey and the lessons distilled with the rest of the world.
We begin our conversation with Kaley stating how her lack of confidence and shyness in a business meeting pushed her into her first lunch with a total stranger and how this first meeting went! It got her out of her comfort zone.
When Kaley arrived as an immigrant in Australia she became self-conscious and noticed how she continued to socialize within the same groups of people and how that was not helping her or showing her children new experiences.
Being a busy mom and a working professional she chose her lunch hour to connect with others and get out of her comfort zone! During our discussion, Kaely shares her most memorable lunch and how her lunches gave her a new perspective on life and how to reflect on who she is, and how she wants to create future connections.
At one point Kaley decided to write her book and start her website 100lunches.com where you can connect with others all over the world for lunch. It’s a wonderful platform and I’ve gone on the register and reached out to coordinate some lunches myself! The time change can be a challenge so you may not be experiencing lunch but it’s a wonderful way to connect with others around the world! I would encourage you to go and check out her website.
I love Kaley’s courage and enthusiasm. For someone who was shy and was uncomfortable speaking in front of others, Kaley has managed to create quite a storm! She is now doing public speaking and helping others get out of their comfort zone and experience life to its fullest!
Kaley reminds us that you never know when that next life-changing connection is going to be made! As a coach who helps women in midlife enter into their next chapter, we are always talking about being curious and open to new possibilities. To experience something different you do need to get out of your comfort zone and stretch yourself to try something different.
Do you need to get out of your comfort zone and what would you like to try that‘s different that would help you grow and expand into who you want to become?
I hope this conversation encourages you to take that step into your next chapter!
Sarah Snyder is a writer, storyteller and conservationist whose passion is helping others connect spiritually to the outdoors, nature and science. She has been writing professionally since 1991 and her work has appeared in multiple publications. Sarah is the author of three nonfiction books and numerous newspaper and magazine articles. Her latest book, The Value of Your Soul: Rumi Verse for Life’s Annoying Moments, debuted September 2020, and is a spinoff of her memoir, Plant Trees, Carry Sheep: A Woman’s Spiritual Journey Among the Sufis of Scotland. Sarah lives in Virginia, where she participates in oral storytelling and writes about self-care and self-renewal through retreats on her blog, Luna River Voices.
My conversation began with Sarah sharing how she has combined her lifelong passion for writing with her love for nature! In the early nineties Sarah went back to get a master’s degree. She currently holds a degree in biology, and a master’s degree in journalism with an environmental emphasis.
Sarah nurtures her creative writing life by blogging and has published some books from her personal experiences. For Sarah it’s about giving back in this season of life. Sarah’s day job provides her the freedom to develop her writing life and her goal is to be an inspiration to others! I personally follow her blog through Facebook and love her writing and how she shares with her community!
We had a nice conversation about the “little me” being ego driven and the “bigger me” being spirit driven. She is a shining example that you can pursue your career while having a career!
Sarah discussed her memoir and her move to Scotland where she stayed for two years! From the moment she arrived her plans had changed and she shares how that she needed to change her expectations. She could have turned around and come home but stayed and had an amazing experience!
Throughout the book, she shares the lessons learned and how she chooses to respond vs. react to situations. She also asks herself, is this a mistake or a learning opportunity?
Sarah also shares that surrendering isn’t about giving up or giving in, it’s about opening up to the opportunity! She doesn’t show signs of slowing down and has another book coming out in 2021: DIY Solo Retreats: A Handbook to Creating your Space and Setting your Intention, and Getting the Self Care You Deserve!
What I love about Sarah is her willingness to try new things and her curiosity! It seems that this willingness started early in life and she hasn’t stopped exploring. She also doesn’t feel that you have to give up your passion while having a successful career! Sarah manages to prioritize her days so she can do both! How are you cultivating your passion in life and are you finding the time during your day to nurture your true self?
I hope you’ll be inspired by my conversation with Sarah and you think about how you can nurture your passions as a hobby or career!
Recently, I had the pleasure of connecting over Zoom to speak with Rachel Greene about her journey finding Pilates! She was sitting in Bali with an amazing backdrop of open blue skies and a beautiful beach while I was in Seattle experiencing a dreary rainy morning! I was imagining her life in that beautiful scene as she shared her afternoon plans for getting out in the sunshine!
In our conversation, Rachel shares how she found Pilates as a result of having issues with her ballet practice and finding that it was scoliosis and needing a different form of exercise due to consistent back pain. It’s now her passion to share with others how they can treat imbalances in the body which contribute to back, neck and hip pain. Rachel has been teaching Pilates for over twenty years.
Rachel’s journey began in North Carolina but was offered a job within a studio in Bali and jumped at the opportunity! She shares what that transition looked like for her and how she developed a relationship with her host family and ultimately stayed in Bali to teach. She has now been teaching in Bali for twelve years and expanded her teaching to online so she can reach more people and impact more lives. Her online practice, Just Breathe is an active lifestyle brand offering Pilates programming, luxe fitness accessories and healthy inspiration!
Rachel begins by working her client’s through safe sequences so they can let their mind relax and let go of the pain that can be deep down in the nervous system. Her overall mission is to help the client move safely and enjoy their practice!
During our conversation Rachel leaves us with a challenge and encourages each of us to find a movement that we enjoy and embrace it!
As a woman in midlife who’s struggled with a back issue I appreciate Rachel’s approach in making sure her clients get the proper technique and training either in person or online. I find that when I’m moving consistently, there are less issues with my back.
Have you tried Pilates? Either on a mat or reformer? I’d love to hear your experiences and if you’ve adopted it for your part of your movement practice!
Patty Bonsera, CFEI, is a former Securities Trader who became a Financial Wellness Advisor to support women 40+. In an industry built for men, she founded Fear.less Girl Financial as a better way to help midlife women feel confident and beautiful about their finances and to celebrate midlife with soulful abundance. She will coach you, teach you, and celebrate with you every step of the way.
What You’ll Learn:
- Was 2020 a wake up call for estate planning?
- Estate planning is a comprehensive financial plan
- Patty shares scenarios on a smooth transition of an estate vs. a not so smooth
- Revocable trust vs. non revocable
- How to approach the topic of estate planning with your partner
- Start an annual financial summit
- How to pick the right person to help you with your estate plan
- How to engage with patty
- Patty’s morning routine
- The Midlife Cate is coming soon!
Paula is a former organizational development practitioner, with over 20 years experience in corporate training, leadership development, and coaching. She earned a graduate degree in Counseling Psychology with a cognate in Theology from the University of Denver. Paula’s expertise includes Reality-Based Leadership, Crucial Conversations, and Contemplative Leadership.
As a board-certified coach, an ordained ministerial counselor, and a certified Focusing guide, Paula brings a wealth of expertise and understanding to her work.
In her study of transpersonal and nondual psychology, Paula discovered how the practice of Focusing freed her of being identified with the ego, allowing her to live more consistently from a state characterized by wisdom and grace. This is why Paula shares this practice with others, so that they may also experience a transformed way of being
What You’ll Learn:
- How Covid came along and changed Paula’s plan
- Paula focuses on spiritual training and development for leader and people who are spiritual seekers who are looking to dissolve their ego and live from a higher level of consciousness
- How Focusing works, an example and what to expect
- Examples of how focusing has helped people
- What Paula has learned about herself through her journey
- How can you connect with Paula
- How does Paula calm the chaos
- Paula’s challenge for the listeners