A Podcast to inspire and motivate women in midlife! Let's Calm the Chaos in our lives so we can go after our purpose and passion!

The Calm the Chaos Podcast is a weekly podcast featuring guests who help to inspire and motivate women in midlife towards their goals and dreams! They share their messages and provide the listener with resources and content to take that next step. 
 

If you have a story you’d like to share with our listeners, please contact me. 

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It was a total pleasure to speak with Deborah. She’s a wonderful and well-informed interviewer who drew out the ideas from my book through her insightful questions that would most help women in mid-life. The resulting interview was informative and fun.

Jennifer Louden
Tareq Azim

About:

Tareq Azim a descendant of Afghan nobles, Tareq Azim’s family was forced to flee their homeland in 1979. He assimilated in the United States through his love of sports, excelling in wrestling, boxing, and football. In 2004, Azim decided to visit his home country, and upon arriving, he discovered countless children living on the streets, waiting for the inevitable recruitment into terrorist networks and anti-peace militias. Azim’s close encounter with the ravages of a war-torn society taught him how pain can generate the most intense forms of fear, anxiety, and depression. He had found his salvation through sports and physical activity, and he knew these children could, too.

Growing up with the fear of not having and not belonging.  Tareq was desperate to belong and asked himself, How do I belong?, how can I become a part of this American Society? For Tareq, it was the power of sport and physical activity. It was through organized sports in High School that he learned what embracing the discomfort meant and what it meant and how to challenge yourself and face your truth.  It was then that Tareq recognized what was preventing the rest of his community to feel this same way of belonging.  It was while playing football in high school that he experienced that feeling of acceptance from himself and others.  

Once Tareq’s confidence was raised through sports, he pushed himself to do other things like running for ASB President. He continued to push through to do things even when it felt out of his comfort zone and scared.  

He then came to the realization at age 17, what prevents the optimization of human capacity and capability is fear.  Now when he feels fearful he recognizes that this is where his opportunity lies within himself.  

It was then that he started to hold himself accountable publicly and started using the fear of being judged by not completing his goal as fuel to pull the trigger on things that he felt were right for himself vs. falling victim to judgment.  He was using it!  

Tareq believes that we have the freedom to define our own narratives and definitions of behaviors. He helps individuals to recognize the value of fear vs. fear being something you should avoid and allowing it to be a disease that decimates everything else in your life.  We use fear as an excuse on why we don’t move forward and we see individuals running away from the responsibility of being aware of what you’re fearful of. Once you are conscious of what it is and what’s preventing you from being strong, you can then embrace the fear and define what it is for you at that moment.

Tareq shares with us how to conquer the fear once we recognize it and call it out.  It’s when you identify it and make the decision to embrace it that you can move forward.  Give it a responsibility and give it permission to do what it is there to do for you.

Links:

Grab Your Copy of Empower  by Tareq Azim 

Tareq Azim on Instagram

Connect with Deborah Voll

Take The Midlife Quiz

Passion and Purpose Digital Workbook

Book Your Spot for the Free 60 minute Clarity Session here 

About:

Juggling life for years led Daniela Sulek to hit a wall. Her entire way of life and being changed when what she now calls “humaning” led to her developing serious illnesses while pregnant with her third child, and almost cost her her life. With her “play your way through life” philosophy, she now helps renowned yet unfulfilled leaders move into a permanent state of ease, joy, and passion. By transcending from the conditioned human to the consciousness of their true self, they shift into effortlessly creating by being, instead of creating by doing.

My conversation with Daniela begins by her sharing her journey and how in the beginning her life and health escalated to a point where she became very ill and realized that she wanted to know the truth and things needed to change. For her she wanted Freedom. To her Freedom is to be who she wants to be whenever she wants to be!  And to do whenever she wants to do!  

Daniela takes the pain she experienced and turned it into her passion so that others can know their true selves and let go of the human conditioning and be free!  

Daniela shares her motto:  Learn From Everyone, Follow No One.  You are unique and have a unique blueprint. There is no need to follow anyone.  You learn and take what you want and discard what you don’t like.  Think of life as an all-you-can-eat buffet!  

We discuss that fear is a product of the mind.  When we live in fear, guilt, and anxiety we are living of the mind and not living in the true higher consciousness of self.  In order to have a higher consciousness of self, we need to hold absolute trust in life and know that we are good and all is amazing.  That everything is happening for me 

We then go on to discuss how to let go of the “doing” and “going”  so that we can step back and “be”.  How do we surrender to that in our life?  It’s really a shift in consciousness.  A shift in your thought and emotional patterns in your state of being.  

Our discussion journeys on to discussing how to be present and with others and show up with no expectations or bringing any of the past “humaning” into the moment and how that will have a powerful impact on your relationships. Daniela encourages us to be and not get hung up in expectations on how things need to turn out or what needs to get done. Just be open to having what needs to transpire at that moment.  

Daniela challenges us to do this with the next person we encounter:  Don’t look at them as to how they should be but just be with them.  Look at them as to how they are.  Let go of what you need from them or how they should behave. Be with them as they are and be you as you are and see the change.  




Links:

Connect with Daniela Sulek

Connect with Deborah Voll

Take The Midlife Quiz

Passion and Purpose Digital Workbook

Book Your Spot for the Free 60 minute Clarity Session here 

About:

Jackie Parsons was born and raised in England. SheI studied languages from an early age and developed a passion for Latin cultures. She speaks French, Spanish, and fluent Italian. Jackie has led tours in Europe since 1992, specializing in walking tours in Italy since 2007

Her first degree in Spanish took her to the mountains of Mexico and to the South American Andes, where she took part in a Raleigh International expedition to Chile. Her enthusiasm for Italy developed alongside my love of its art, history, culture, food, wine, and people. She has also studied Italian art and culture with the Open University. As a Teacher of Modern Languages in the UK, she was a fully qualified expedition leader for the Duke of Edinburgh Award.

Jackie and her husband own and operate Hedonistic Hiking which are group walking tours led in Australia and Italy!  

 

Jackie joins us today from Italy and their home in Tuscany where it’s been their base for the last three months!  This is where they live while they are running their Italian Tours.  

We chat about how she started Hedonistic Hiking Tours and her inspiration started at a very young age with her love for languages.  She had a very inspirational teacher that encouraged her students to go one step further and to look for the adventure! Don’t be afraid of where you are and what you want to do in life. Not wanting to do what was “expected of her”, Jackie focused on her passion for traveling and shared how that journey evolved into what it looks like today. 

 

Hedonistic Hiking Tours gives Jackie and her husband the opportunity to explore the things they love the most:  Sharing their love of food, wine, and walking!  Sounds good to me!  They enjoy sharing what they love about Italy and seeing the joy on their faces when they are on their experience! 

Jackie shares with us the different levels of intensity in their walking tours and there is something available for anyone’s physical ability.  They meet you in your comfort zone or you can push yourself with something a bit more challenging.  On the lower level hikes, there is a support vehicle so if you are feeling that after lunch you would like to return to your hotel to relax by the pool you have that option! The tours are designed for the older generations which helps a lot to manage your expectations! We may not be elite athletes but we are looking for a fun and memorable tour experience!  For Jackie one of the most rewarding aspects of her job is seeing each day the increased confidence in their faces and the joy in their face! 

 

I ask Jackie to share her favorite walking tour and she immediately says that it’s the one she is currently on at that moment! However, she does come around and share one of her favorite tours in Italy! You’ll need to tune in to hear her describe this tour as it sounds amazing and doesn’t want to give it away!

Jackie shares about what she’s learned about herself through this process and how starting their business they took a risk and stepped out of their comfort zone. They let the business evolve without a 20-page business plan. They did have focus and a direction but they trusted that things were going to progress as they should.  She shares that You don’t know what you can achieve until you do it!  Don’t get caught up in the weeds and spend your life in the planning process! Start with one foot in front of the other.  

Maybe 2022 or 2023 might be the year for you to do some exploration in Italy or Australia?  Check it out!  

Links:

 

Connect with Jackie Parsons

Connect with Deborah Voll

Take The Midlife Quiz

Passion and Purpose Digital Workbook

Book Your Spot for the Free 60 minute Clarity Session here 

 

About:

Judi Jacobs is a former plaintiff’s tort trial lawyer.  She began her journey into teaching and learning about technology in the early part of my legal career. Like many of us,  she did not grow up with a computer and is not a computer engineer. She is not  a so-called “digital native.” (i.e., I am not under 35!)

Her first experiences with computers came through work in my law firm as she had to struggle to learn how to do things by trying and failing.

When something went wrong with a colleague or my computer, she would watch how the “tech guys” (never women in those days) fixed the problem. Then, the next time I experienced a similar issue, I would resolve it by trying to retrace the steps of the tech guys.

As a mother of five children, she had no choice but to stay on top of technology. Each one had different skills and unique needs and abilities on the computer. One was an expert at getting around the Netscape Nanny software I installed. She had to stay one step ahead of him to recognize when he was hacking it to try again or use another piece of software. Through the necessities of life, I discovered a love of computers and mobile devices.

In 2005 Judi started Tech Wizard where she supports her community with online classes and 1:1  support as it pertains to working with your computer or phone!  

Even though Judi was thrust into learning the technology for both home and at work, she realized that she enjoyed it, was good at it as well as had the patience to teach others. It brings her a lot of joy and gratification in seeing people get more comfortable with the technology and learn how to do things! 

Judi shares that it’s the fear and hesitation from people not wanting to look “dumb”  that often gets in the way of them seeking help.  We have to remember that for a lot of us we did not grow up with a computer or smartphone. These tools were thrust in front of us later in life so our learning curve will be different.  

It’s best to work on the foundational skills as that is what you’ll be using every day and it will give you the opportunity to use them consistently so you can raise your confidence level.  

The most popular thing that people request help on right now is their phones.  We are using them 24/7 and they are mini computers. In the palm of your hand, you have the ability to access and use so many different features. You may not even realize you are not using them.  You don’t know what you don’t know!

We discuss things that we should be doing at the start of every year on our computers to ensure that things are running smoothly and keeping our technology safe and up to date.  

Judi also encourages us not to use our email “inbox”  as a storage box.  You should be managing your email on a daily basis. You either file or get rid of it after it’s been read.  She gives some great analogies that will help you to see your inbox in a new light which may spur you on to dealing with those emails with a specific action.  

The Tech Wizard offers online classes and specific 1:1  help so if you are thinking to start working independently and then reach out for some specific help then that option is available to you.  

Links:

Resources and Links  

Connect with Judi Jacobs at The Tech Wizard 

Connect with Deborah Voll

Take The Midlife Quiz

Passion and Purpose Digital Workbook

Book Your Spot for the Free 60 minute Clarity Session here 

About:

Welcome back to Calm the Chaos! You are listening to Episode 106 and today my guest is ME!  Yes, that’s right today I’ll be doing all the talking!  And….  it’s a big day as today marks the 2nd year anniversary of producing the podcast Calm the Chaos!  

I decided to do this episode solo because for most of you listening you may just see me as a podcast interviewer of other subject matter experts! But.. I am first and foremost a coach for women over forty and I guide them on a journey to transform their lives! 

What does that mean exactly?  

Many women first reach out to me when they need some career guidance.  Maybe they are wanting a job change or re-entering the job market after having been absent for some time while raising a family.   When we get into working on this area a lot comes up for clients surrounding mindset and how they feel about themselves.  I challenge them on how they are thinking about themselves and some of the beliefs that are holding them back from moving forward in all areas of their lives!  

Today, I wanted to talk to you about celebrating!  How are you celebrating YOU?  If you are listening to this podcast, I am assuming that you are a woman over 40!  

When you take a look back at your past self over the years, what have you done where you can now say Thank you! What moments would you like to thank that person that sculpted you into who you are today?

 Perhaps it’s thanking your past self for taking that certification, entering a partnership with someone you love, helping someone else with their challenges, getting that diploma, raising children, trips you went on, the courage to get out of your comfort zone and join an organization,  the opportunity to care for my parents,  putting up with that annoying boss so you could finally get the position of your dreams!  What do you want to say to your former self?

Today I would like for you to write a letter to your past self and say thank you!  What will you say to yourself?  It doesn’t need to be a long letter. Take a couple of minutes to write down your first thoughts. We call this a brain download. There is no right or wrong way to write this letter! Pour your favorite beverage, get cozy in your chair and have some fun with this exercise!

Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you have. How you treat and talk to yourself, and think about yourself is key to having a healthy relationship mentally, emotionally, and physically.  

If we only focus on everything and everyone but ourselves, we drain the cup which leaves us little to pour to the rest of the world.  Is that really fair to you and everyone else?

I want you to be gracious with your past self in how you are doing today.  Don’t beat yourself up for the past or the realization that things haven’t worked out the way you hoped back then. Take the opportunity now to be present and start building a better relationship with yourself.

One way to cultivate a better relationship with ourselves is through acknowledging the gifts and moments in our past.  

For me, I am thankful that I had the opportunity to raise two beautiful children.  And, that I am staying focused on serving my clients and grateful for all those who are helping me!  

Now.. let’s turn our attention to the Celebration!  I want you to take a look at the letter you wrote to yourself!  

What are you most proud of?  Was there a moment where your energy flowed and you said to yourself “job well done”.  Perhaps it was how you made an impact or how you handled a challenging season.  

Now I want you to stop and go to a special place for you. It could be in your home or outside at a park.  I call it your “happy place”. Take the opportunity to step out of your routine for just a few minutes. This is time for you to disengage from your routine!  

Now we are going to commemorate the moment!  Make a toast, say a prayer, treat yourself to a favorite beverage, light a candle or have that slice of cake!  

In life, we need to have a moment where we fill up the gas tank! By taking a moment to acknowledge a moment or moments that were significant and special to us, it breeds positive energy and motivation to continue.  We then will feel more self-confident in tackling new goals and areas of our lives when we feel unsure. 

Many women I work with have a hard time with this exercise because we often don’t take the time to stop, look back and pat ourselves on the back.  Until we sit down and write that letter we may hold onto that sticking thinking that we haven’t  “done much”.  And that’s nonsense!  We are all unique with many experiences that shape us into who we are today! It’s time to recognize those moments, acknowledge and celebrate!  

I hope this episode today will help you to get a perspective on your past self and all the many circumstances that have shaped you into who you are today!  I would love to hear what resonated for you and how you took a moment to celebrate! 

Today, I will be lighting a candle and remembering all the weekend mornings where I was in my office either interviewing, editing this podcast, putting the show notes together, or updating the website!  It’s a journey that requires a lot of discipline but in the end, has been worth it! I have been meeting wonderful people from all over the world who are helping my listeners to calm the chaos!  

I continue to do this podcast because I truly believe that if we can calm the chaos in our lives then we are better able to hear our inner desires! I am going to celebrate and thank you all for being here each week to learn and grow!  

If you feel that this podcast is a weekly gift to your life then I would ask that you take a moment today and rate, review and subscribe to the podcast! Then take a screenshot and share it with three of your closest friends! 

Would you like to see more coaching like this on the podcast? Let me know! Drop me a note from my website www.deborahvoll.com using the contact me form! I would love to hear!  I am constantly growing and evolving with my coaching and the podcast! This show each week is for YOU and I would love to hear what type of support you need! 

Just as a reminder there are multiple resources on my website that you can access if you are looking for some support in your journey! Jump over and subscribe to my email list, take the Quiz and see if you are ready for your next chapter! 

 

Links:

Connect with Deborah Voll

Take The Midlife Quiz

Passion and Purpose Digital Workbook

Book Your Spot for the Free 60 minute Clarity Session here 

 

About:

Lisbeth “Lis” McKinley, is a Certified Professional Organizer, move manager, public speaker, and owner of LET’S MAKE ROOM, LLC based in Oakland, California, now in its 12th year of operation.

Lis, along with her team at LET’S MAKE ROOM, helps clients achieve their unique vision of the organization, before or after moving, remodeling, or refreshing and unclutter their living, work, and storage areas.

Lis speaks to both professional and community groups about downsizing, organizing, productivity, and paper management. Her talks have inspired hundreds of people to enjoy their lives with less and get more done. 

Lis is from New York City, holds a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology, and lives in Oakland with her husband, three cats, and a Chihuahua.

Lis is a returning guest to the podcast who today shares how she is helping her community. Today we talk about downsizing and how to let go of years of stuff without the tears! At the start of the year many people have decluttering and organizing in mind so this is a timely interview to get you focused if this is your intention! 

She shares that often we accumulate the stuff of no fault of our own.  For many, it can be the circumstances of losing a spouse or caretaking for someone and things got worse.  It’s a challenge facing a lot of people in this country and she is happy she can be there in person or virtually to help them through the process.  

Acknowledging that you will need to make a lot of decisions when going through this process is an understatement!  I recently took some time to go through some rooms with the theme of downsizing and had to make some difficult decisions. Lis shares that clutter is nothing more than delayed decision-making! The decisions are often delayed because we don’t know what to ask ourselves.  Her role is to ask those important questions which support their end goal. 

 Lis walks us through some important questions to ask ourselves and shares a poem  that one of her clients wrote that may help you get a different perspective

Questions

Do You Love It? 

If I saw it again in a store would I buy it?

Does it suit who I am now?  (  Are there things associated with a past life? ) 

Poem

Yearning

Yearning for a new way will not produce it. Only ending the old way can do that.  You cannot hold onto the old, all the while declaring that you want something new. The old will defy the new, the old will deny the new, the old will decry the new.  There is only one way to bring in the new, you must make room for it.  

Lis shares the process of how she helps her clients to downsize by doing all of the sortings of the items by category and then having them go on a “reverse” shopping trip! This makes the process easier for what they do want to keep and move forward in their next chapter! The client is only involved in the “editing” process.  

During our conversation Lis shares a personal experience of making a difficult decision about how to let go of a record collection and how she worked through that process.  This helps us to see that everyone has this challenge and it can take time and asking the right questions.  It’s a beautiful story and a great teaching moment about letting go of the hard things in our home! 

We also talk about how when we let go of things in our home it makes room for many other opportunities and we do feel lighter and better prepared to spend time doing other things rather than managing our “stuff”.  Lis encourages us to imagine what our life will feel like when our project is all done.  What are you doing this for?  How will that make you feel? What are the values that you relate to and how do they align with your organizing goals.  

Lis shares with us some fun and creative ways to get rid of the stuff once you’ve managed to go through your personal items.  These are great ways to contribute and support your community!   

 

Links:

Connect with Lis McKinley 

Connect with Deborah Voll

Take The Midlife Quiz

Passion and Purpose Digital Workbook

Book Your Spot for the Free 60 minute Clarity Session here