A Podcast to inspire and motivate women in midlife! Let's Calm the Chaos in our lives so we can go after our purpose and passion!

The Calm the Chaos Podcast is a weekly podcast featuring guests who help to inspire and motivate women in midlife towards their goals and dreams! They share their messages and provide the listener with resources and content to take that next step. 
 

If you have a story you’d like to share with our listeners, please contact me. 

Subscribe Now and Never Miss an Episode!

It was a total pleasure to speak with Deborah. She’s a wonderful and well-informed interviewer who drew out the ideas from my book through her insightful questions that would most help women in mid-life. The resulting interview was informative and fun.

Jennifer Louden
Terry Tucker

About:

Terry Tucker has been an NCAA Division I college basketball player, a Citadel cadet, a marketing executive, a hospital administrator, an undercover narcotics investigator, a SWAT Team Hostage Negotiator, a high school basketball coach, a business owner, a motivational speaker, an author, and most recently, a cancer warrior. He is the author of, Sustainable Excellence, Ten Principles To Living Your Uncommon and Extraordinary Life. Terry and his wife have lived all over the United States and currently reside in Colorado with their daughter and Wheaten Terrier, Maggie. In 2019, Terry started the website, Motivational Check to help others find and lead their uncommon and extraordinary lives

Terry shares that your life should be about your purpose and finding the reason why you were put on this earth, and then living for that reason! Terry had the opportunity to mentor a young man who asked him how to be successful.  Not just in his job but in life! He didn’t want to give him a general answer but provide him with something deeper so he created ten principles and then sent them to him. From there, Terry thought that he had a life story to contribute under each principle and that’s how his book Sustainable Excellence was born. 

During Terry’s cancer treatment which began in April of 2020, he sat down during that period when he was healing to build the stories underneath each of the principles.  

We start by discussing the four truths which are a part of Terry now which he  learned during his nine-year cancer journey 

Terry’s Four Truth’s 

  1.  Control your mind or it will control you
  2. Embrace the pain and suffering we all experience in life and use it to make you stronger and a more determined individual
  3. What you leave behind is what you weave in the hearts of other people
  4. As long as you don’t quit – you can never be defeated. 

Terry’s Three F’s

  1. Faith 
  2. Family 
  3. Friends 

This is what’s helped Terry through his cancer journey and we spend a good deal of time talking about the four truths and how to make those a part of your life.  

Terry shares that the only way you’re going to live is if you are growing and if you are not growing, then you are dying.  He encourages us to take the pain we are feeling and flip it inside so that it’s burned as fuel and use it as energy to make us stronger people.  Instead of running from pain, Terry has learned how to use it to make him stronger.   I love this portion of the interview!  

We are reminded to surround ourselves with people who are going to be positive and uplift us to be successful.  Get the negative people out of your life!  You don’t have to reach your goal alone. There are people out there who want to be available to help you be successful!  

Something to think about is, what are people going to say about you at your funeral? 

 ( don’t get that confused with living your life based on what people think ).  If you don’t like what people are saying about you then you have time to change it now!  We get so focused on today that we lose sight of the big picture. Take a look at the end of your life!  Be happy that you found your purpose in life and that you lived it!  

Terry shares a Native American Black Foot Proverb: 

When you were born, You Cried and the world Rejoiced.  Live your life in such a way so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice!  

Terry reminds us that you can never be defeated!  All of us have goals and they often take longer than we anticipate but if you get discouraged don’t give up!  As long as you don’t give up, then you can not be defeated!  

We discuss that your purpose doesn’t need to be your job! Your job can be that “something” that is there to pay the bills.  Your purpose is whatever you feel in your heart.  Terry shares that if there is something you think you should do but scares you then go ahead and do it!  At the end of your life, the things you are going to regret are not the things that you did, but the things that you didn’t do and by then it will be too late. 

Our discussion moves into Terry sharing his process for writing his book and how he disciplined himself to write every day ( except Sunday). Even if the content was not good, he sat down to put something on paper.  We even chat about the editing process and what’s that like for an author and how he would listen to their advice, sleep on it and then realize that they were the experts and end up making the changes!  Terry also learned that his job was not to sell books but his job was to help people. If you help people, then the book will take care of itself.  Terry wrote his book to make a difference and he is impacting so many lives.  

We also talk about how to show up for a friend and family member with cancer. Terry’s words of wisdom are so helpful.  Hearing firsthand what Terry has experienced going through his treatment was very helpful and he shares those moments and opportunities.  Don’t be a friend who sits on the sidelines!  If you want to get involved in someone’s life then get involved!  Make a meal, walk the dog, cut the grass!

Terry shares his advice for a woman over forty who is at a crossroads in life and is wanting to find her passion and purpose! You have things to give!  Just keep going and move forward one day at a time.  Keep looking for it and look for it with an open heart.  Your purpose will energize you!  



Links:

Jean Atman

About:

Jean Atman is a Consciousness Coach and Quantum Healer. Her greatest joy is to spark awakening and facilitate deep level healing in the collective. She has been called to reach beyond her beloved practice and is on a mission to assist in the ascension process at a grander scale. 

Jean is passionate about sharing her wisdom, tips, and tools that have proven to be the most effective in influencing her journey as well as for her clients! 

We begin by discussing Jean’s journey towards her practice and how she was born into a tumultuous life with a lot of toxicity.  When you are dealing with that and a lot of this type of energy you develop a particular belief system about how the world works and how you are loved.  As she was growing up, she realized that life didn’t feel good and found herself having a lot of struggles.

At this point, she felt that there should be more to life and it didn’t need to contain so much darkness! Jean feels that she was meant to walk through the darkness and find the light! She then took a deep dive into herself and what she was creating and how she was taking responsibility for the creation of her life around her. 

Jean has spent decades unearthing and unpacking all the old belief systems that she grew up around and began shifting them into something she preferred instead.  Her process was working with the mental and emotional aspects of these beliefs and their triggers.  

In the old paradigm, we often believe that our shadow parts are scary and that we should be afraid of going into that place.  Jean says that once we recognize that the fear inside of ourselves are pieces that need nurturing, love and compassion then it’s easier to make that transition and go inside. Jean shares that she began to go on retreats and take time to be with herself and create a sacred space to rest and listen. 

For Jean, her meditation practice was what helped her to learn about herself. She shares that when you can be present within yourself that you can gain access to all sorts of places that are typically hidden or ignored because of the busyness of life.  We talk more about Jean’s meditation practice and how that’s such an important part of her life and through the years she has learned that she’s not alone when mediating. 

We discuss her practice of energy healing and how when you start to clear your field and decongest, you allow something else to come in which can be transformational. At this point, we can choose something better in a higher vibrational aspect for ourselves.  

Jean shares with us how she helps her community to be a consciousness creator!  She shares how she dives into limiting beliefs and triggers as information.  It’s important that as this information comes in and creates a discomfort that we do not stuff it down or deflect it but learn to be comfortable with the discomfort and ask ”what is that within you” and what’s being triggered right now.  All those uncomfortable feelings are a wound that’s being poked and prodded to say “I’m here and I am needing something from you” When we take that deep dive to see what that is we can unearth it, nurture, and start to clear those feelings. Once you no longer carry that around within you then it’s a healed space.  

Jean believes that we can become conscious of how we are creating our worlds and once you start to heal those things and start choosing something different for yourself you are in a healed place.  

We discuss what it really means to rest and restore the body which is so important to have this transformation.  Jean shares that it’s not just the typical “go to bed” rest. That’s just the basics!  We get so busy with all the external moving parts of the world that we need to give ourselves permission to “pause”.  Be in the stillness.  We need to stop the momentum and check-in with ourselves.  At that point, we can ask ourselves how we are feeling about ourselves or a situation and feel the discomfort. Then perhaps if we need to shift our path we, can feel that and make those slight changes. 

Jean shares her insight on how to begin and nurture a mediation practice which is very helpful for those beginning or needing to understand how to acknowledge those thoughts that may creep in while taking that pause. She shares that there is no failing or succeeding in meditation that it’s just practice!  Be kind to yourself! 

Jean offers a course to her community: Limitless which is a foundational shift for people!  The first portion of the course work is to challenge the foundation of what’s not working in your world. You talk about limiting beliefs, triggers, the inner critic, and all those pieces that are working against you. Once you recognize what is not working then you can begin to make the shift.  Jean also includes mindfulness practices, journaling exercises, and prompts so you can get into your inner world. She also offers community-guided healings. By moving that energy out then you can feel lighter and choose something different and better for yourself. The second part of the course is focusing on the aspects of money, relationships, health, vitality, and the gift of receiving.  After you’ve had the opportunity to build a new foundation then you can align the other aspects of your life! 



Links:

Dina Vink

About:

Dyna Vink is a certified health and nutrition coach who refused to give in after her doctor, dietician, and trainer gave ineffective advice on how to navigate perimenopause.  She now coaches women through her site Holistic Nutrition Lifestyle  

Dyna started her journey as a director of marketing with several high-tech companies over the years.  She had what some may consider a dream job.  But in her thirties started to stumble which affected her confidence and belief in herself.   Different symptoms started coming up and she didn’t know what to make of them and hadn’t connected the dots to the “change in life”.  Dyna shares with us those symptoms that she was experiencing and how she was working on her own towards trying to find a “magic pill”.   Even at her annual check-up, the doctor proceeded to fat-shame her and prescribed a crazy diet of processed foods.  She knew that this was not the path to gaining back her overall health.  

It was after consulting her doctor, trainer, and dietician that she started to dive into reading women’s aging literature so that she could understand what was going on with her mind and body.  She started to make some small changes and focused on a lifestyle approach after all the other exhaustive options.  

It was after her journey, research, and education that Dyna felt that she would like to become a health and nutrition coach so that she could help other women through this challenge.  Dyna feels that we should be talking more about perimenopause and menopause in our daily lives.  It’s nothing to be shameful about.  She makes herself available through coaching and education.  

We discuss how Dyna intakes a new client and how every client’s situation is handled uniquely and there is no “cookie-cutter”  approach.  Dyan’s focus is a lifestyle approach and to think of food as medicine.

  Food is one of Dyna’s first pillars that she focuses on because it’s so important to our overall well-being and the good news is that this is something that we can control.   If we can control the way we eat and resolve some symptoms and problems like inflammation, bloating, joint pain, brain fog, and sleep then it’s a big win for our overall health and well-being.  

Another pillar that Dyna focuses on with her clients is quality sleep.  Many women come to her stating that they are having issues with weight gain and one of the first questions is, are you getting enough sleep?  Sleep is not only vital to your physical health but to your overall weight loss.  If you don’t get enough sleep then your cortisol levels go up and that’s a stress hormone that over time can be very toxic to the body.  If you can’t get proper sleep then your body can’t perform the general maintenance of removing dead cells and rebuilding tissues.  

Dyna makes available on her website an article:  Eleven Foods  Ladies in Peri-menopause should never eat.  I will go ahead and put a link to this article in the show notes! 

We discuss exercising for health and exercising for weight loss and how that affects women in perimenopause and menopause.  Dyna also shares a client success story which is a great reminder of how we treat our overall health and wellbeing.  

So what about the women who are listening that have already gone through the menopause journey and are on the other side?  What should we be concerned about moving forward?  Dyna shares that a focus on bone and muscle strengthening is very important as we get older and we should not let this area of our practice slide.  And please don’t forget to work on your balance!  There are many practices and exercises she shares that can help us to stay focused on keeping this an area for commitment.  

Dyna closes by leaving the listeners with a challenge and tips on being successful. Are you ready to take her up on this for a short period of time? I know that I have been focusing on her challenge and already seeing some changes in my overall health and well-being.  



Links:

Lesleigh Tolin

About:

Lesleigh Tolin is an advanced Grief Recovery Specialist.  She has twelve years of professional hospice experience and it has been a dream to help others with end-of-life challenges having experienced an inordinate amount of loss on her own.  It’s now her personal mission to work with adults internationally who have been impacted by emotional loss either current or past to transform their pain into power.  Her Grief  Recovery Method is the only evidence and action-based program for healing from grief in our nation.  

Lesleigh shares that at the start of her journey, she was dealing with her grief by seeking out different coping skills but it was after being introduced to the method that she uses today with her clients that her life was changed.  She was able to process the pain.  It was then that she wanted to give back and began teaching this method to others.  Lesleigh now serves her community internationally!  

We discuss that as women in midlife we have walked quite a journey and perhaps when first reaching out to a grief specialist, they may be coming for one instance but in the end, there may be a discovery of more underlying grief that has not yet been acknowledged. Lesleigh shares a great analogy of wearing a backpack when you are born and through the years accumulating more grief and putting it away until finally you are unable to deal with the amount of grief and need to seek help.  

Lesleigh walks us through the definitions of grief:  

Grief is the natural and reaction to loss.  

Grief is the conflicting mass of emotions that we each feel when anything familiar changes 

Grief is reaching out to someone who has always been there for us and they are no longer there for us (  either physically or emotionally ) 

When grieving, it doesn’t always need to be about something sad.  It can also be about something good.  

Lesleigh makes sure that each of her clients they feel that they feel safe, seen, and secure in their heart-to-heart discussions each week. It’s a place where they can communicate about those lost expectations, hopes, or dreams. 

We discuss the six common myths in our culture surrounding grief and our conversation highlights all six of the myths.  One common myth is “give it time”. Lesleigh gives a wonderful explanation as to how time does not heal grief and that action within time heals. Not just time it’s action within time. 

Lesleigh goes on to share how to comfort someone when you don’t know what to say at the moment when someone you love is grieving.  It’s simple but effective and will speak from your heart.  

Lesleigh’s introductory program is an eight-week program in which she leads 1:1 support and a book from John James:     The Greif Recovery Handbook.  The client would receive the book, worksheets and then meet weekly with Lesliegh to begin walking together on this journey.  This is a structured, compassionate and experiential process that has therapeutic effects.  At the end of eight weeks, you have an emotional toolbox so they can process any future loss.  

We discuss the importance of doing this work with a guide because it can be stressful, exciting, and challenging.  Lesleigh is there for you each week and in-between sessions so if something comes up and you need support she will be there for you to process your thoughts and emotions.  

Lesleigh goes on to share a client’s story and how they were able to transform their life by going through this process. It’s a beautiful story and is a testimte to her work with others.  

Lesleigh found this calling at the age of seventy! She believes in youth- ing and not aging and we continue to discuss those stories that women may tell themselves in midlife that they are “too old” to try something new and find their passion and purpose in life!  

It’s never too late to begin a journey that’s expressive of your heart!  There is only this moment and life is short!   

 

 

Links:

career Transformation

About:

Today be prepared to be inspired! My conversation this week is with my client: Julia Schmidt who this year completed her eight-week coaching experience.  

Julia came to me needing some help in a career search but what she gained were a new career, increased self-confidence, and a completely new mindset! 

In our interview, she shares with the listeners 

  • Where she was at in the beginning of her career search and how that felt and the stories she told herself about her work/life experience and capabilities.  Her thoughts on what she felt she was qualified for in a search and how she was limiting herself and her full potential.

 

  • What the coaching process looked like for her and how she worked through the Passion and Purpose Workbook while working towards her career search. She shares how the combination of self-exploration with career coaching homework proved to be a valuable exercise for her journey.  This is not just a career coaching journey! You are stepping into the opportunity to learn more about yourself and how your thoughts and emotions drive your actions and create your results!

 

  • Why she picked a coach to work with and how this experience was different from other 1:1 experiences

 

  • How her mindset has shifted in her ability to take on new challenges

 

  • Where she is at right now in her new job and how she is showing up differently each day!

 

  • Her advice to any woman over forty who is on the fence about working with a coach

 

  • What the process looked like for her when reaching out for coaching and why she would recommend it to others. 

Julia is living her dream life and you can as well!  I believe that we are the author of our next chapter and that in less than eight weeks, you can transform your life!   

 If you are on the fence on your next steps and lack the confidence to move forward, I invite you to reach out to me for your free 60 minutes Clarity Session so you can discover what is holding you back from your dream career!  

This is an exciting process and you will be coached during this sixty-minute call and know in the end if you are ready to move forward!  You can apply for a Clarity Session through the link in the show notes!  

 

Links:

  • Connect with Deborah HERE
  • Free 60-minute Session: What’s holding you back from your Dream Career? Start Your Transformation Today! Link here
  • Follow me on INSTAGRAM
  • Follow me on FACEBOOK
  • Follow on APPLE PODCAST
  • Listen to more episodes HERE
Sharon Valenti

About:

Sharon Valenti’s thirst for knowledge led her to spend time in various places around the U.S., as well as a journey throughout India and the shores and villages of Indonesia.   Consistently pursuing her own awakening, she is motivated to help others do the “work” and seek a shift within themselves.  In this podcast, we are talking about mastering your thoughts and emotions!  

Sharon shares that in her past growing up she experienced a lot of physical, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse.  But through her work, she has acknowledged that each of these moments of trauma in her life served a purpose.  She feels it makes her more empathetic to others who have walked that same road.  Sharon considers herself a success story because she chooses not to stay in a victim mindset.   Now she can offer that same help to others.  

During our discussion, Sharon shares that what moved her forward to finding the peace and joy in her life was when she recognized that she was blaming everybody else for what was going on in herself and not taking responsibility.  She then learned how to question the stories that she was creating.  Each time she was triggered by someone she taught herself to “get still”  and find out what was the belief she had going on about herself that triggered those feelings. Sharon gives some great examples about how when we are younger some experiences can lead us to believe things are really not true about ourselves.  Sharon found that when she stopped arguing with reality, then the peacefulness in her life began to take root.  

Sharon goes on to share that there are three types of Business

  • My Business
  • Your Business
  • The Divine’s Business

When we are in our “own business”  then we are showing confidence in ourselves.  We ultimately raise our energy. In our conversation, Sharon gives some great examples on this scenario.  It’s up to us to train our minds and body to stay in our business.  

It’s important that we seek validation within ourselves and not look to other people to give us that reinforcement and raise our energy vibration.  

Sharon also shares how she stays in the present moment so she is aware of the true reality of the situation. She gives some great tips on how to train your mind to do that very thing!  We are told to stay in the present moment but we are never taught.  

We discuss staying in our own business and Sharon shares a great mantra:  How do I know it should have happened? Because it did.  When you embrace that you realize that the past has already happened and you don’t keep revisiting it in your mind.  It only causes pain to keep arguing with reality.  

Sharon encourages us all to show up and question what people say about us and if it’s true.  We don’t need to prove anything to anybody. Just simply being alive is enough.  How are you uplifting yourself with positive information and people? When you start to surround yourself with positivity in your life, the negative people will drop off.  

Remember to question those underlying beliefs.  Are they really true and whose beliefs are they anyway?  Be careful, you may be carrying around someone else’s belief.  

 

Links: